Changing Life

Old is the spirit of mine and tired is my soul,

Longing for something that will never come to realize,

Doing meaningless things around had been part of my routines.

Day by day, my gray hair multiplies,

Ash of the past had long been gone;

Yesterday is so far away from me,

So are my youth and happiness.

And what do I have now in my lonely arms?

Reality is so harsh on me,

Every beauty of life can only be found in dreams, but nightmare is all I have.

Gust of wind cut my delicate skin,

Over my head, the dark cloud enshrouds the sky;

None of the people I know is alive.

Everyone is dead, murdered mostly by Change.

Will and strength are drawn from me,

I am but an empty walking shell.

The fools can laugh at me now and the beggars can take the best of me too.

Haze of life had obscured my prospect completely.

Yielding to myself,

On the ground, I kneel.

Until the sun should stop to shine,

Rain should always fall upon me.

Life is not always beautiful,

Only you can change its nature.

Vision of the future should always have you,

Every new life shall sprout from your seeds of love again.

I love you.

My Wish

Please remember this, my love one.
Everyday I had been wishing this to be true.
This is the only wish I always have,
So if you should want to know it, this is the place to find it.


It is perhaps shameful of me to write a post about it.
We had been together for so long already,
And yet I am still afraid that you did not know my wish.
Never mind my dear if you did not know,
No worries, I know that it is not your fault,
A wish it just is, and a simple wish it is.


Caring and loving is my lovely one,
Kingdom of love is the place we are in;

Forever and ever shall we enjoy the peace,
Until the universe die, we shall never be separated.

Hark, this is my wish,
Eternal shall our love be,
Rain shall always water the seeds of bliss,

Under the sun, our fruits of happiness shall blossom as beautifully as a flower can do.
Every petal will be our blessing.
You and I will be the gardeners who will protect this beautiful life.

I love you, my sugar.

Meaning of Life

The question we all have is, what is the meaning of life?
Or only the people who care to live will ask such a question.

Living, some say, is just the same as dying.
I would never deny that.
Vague as it seems, it is however an obvious fact.
Everyone is dying since he is born, can you really deny that?

If living is dying,
So why do we live?

To get the answer for this question would be time-consuming,
Only philosophers will consider it nowadays, lay people will not.

Living, for some, is to earn money, to get everything needed or not and for pleasure,
Or in other words, to satisfy our desires during this short-lived lifetime of ours.
Vanity is in almost everyone's heart and who had ever been ashamed of himself?
Everyone is proud to show how vain they are.

In this world, saint people are fools,
Sinners are the commoners.
No one ever cares about others,
Till the danger of others would cross the border and affect him.

I am not a saint if you ask me.
The only thing I want in my life is love from you, no other reasons but I love you.

A Lost Man

In the middle of the dark sea, my ship of hope floats,

A brighter day is all I hope for the morrow,

My body and mind will be crushed soon if no rescue is possible.

Lying on the board, I realize that I do not know any face I used to look at;

Only the names are still remaining in my mind;

So this is all I had in my head,

The emptiness of being a stranger to everyone I knew.

Sometimes I dream of falling from a great height,

Or being chased by an unknown pursuer till,

My mind can no longer take it and I wake up with fear.

Unlike the past, I feel so alone now.

Can the light of hope shine on me again?

Has everyone forgotten the clown in the circus?

A Short Love Poem

You are not an angel, who would believe that?

Only the ignorant fools would believe at.

Under the blessings of your wonderful love,

Any poor souls would never ever be sad.

Remember always the love we are having,

Enjoy the moment we are together;

My humble vocal cord would try hard to sing,

Your elegance would dance with grace like never.

Someday shall we hold our hands again,

Until the night takes over the dawn,

None of my reasons would make me sane.

I love you, as always.

Dreamy Dream

It crept into my head again in the middle of the night,

Dream-o-dream, how could I struggle against your wonderful blight?

Reaching out for the reason and searching for the morning light,

Every course and every action I took with all my might,

All-and-one and one-and-all had gone before my dizzy sight,

Memory and past, on me, had had their dreadful grips held tight.

Only the time is real,

For it listened to my appeal;

My wishes were gone,

Yet my faith had never been torn.

Love will not yield,

Or the darkness ensues.

Vagueness I feel,

Every time I thought of you.

Only if I would have known,

Nothing of me would be sworn,

Everyone would not be gone.

Places of wonder

Ever I had been.

I went yonder,

Tears that I had seen.

Struggle to get out of the pit of darkness,

Untie me and let me fall,

End my pain and tell me with your earnestness.

You love me once and for all.

我的歌声里

还记得那一个不眠的夜晚吗？

我们与我们的朋友一块儿在我的家玩我们的新宠：ＡＲＫＨＡＭ　ＨＯＲＲＯＲ

那一个晚上，我时不时哼着：“你存在我深深的脑海里，我的梦里，我的心里，我的歌声里。”

我喜欢这首歌《我的歌声里》，也喜欢唱这首歌的歌手曲婉婷

我喜欢的曲风，我喜欢的歌声，我喜欢的创作才华

一个年轻女子，一首简单的旋律，一套简单而深入人心的歌词

愿意听一听我唱的吗？

就像歌词一样，你不偏不倚，没有预告的出现在我的世界里

贸然的一封短信，贸然的一次约会让我们贸然的拥有了一次相爱的机会

也许是一见钟情，也许是骑牛找马，也可能是我们的太过饥渴让我们没有防备的牵起对方的手，吻起对方的嘴，就这样的爱上彼此

就让我们继续的在一起吧！

不浪费上天赐予我们的机会，不浪费我们一同建造的爱，也不浪费我们的一切

我爱你

The Words Unsaid

It was a day on which, we never met each other,

So I tried to focus on the trip I had with my family.

The emptiness in my head had been neglected for this sake.

A long, long journey ahead,
Rain fell silently from the cold sky above,
The loneliness in my heart reminded me of your absence.

Through the chill air I went,

On the dreary road I drove,

The silence of my soul was the sign of a coming storm.

Had you been here,

I would sure be much better.

No one can ever replace you, I was so sure of this at this moment.

Kiss me please,

And hug me with all your sincerity,

But why, you are so far away from me now?

On the day we were together, I had already started having faith in,

Until now, I still believed,

That the string, which binds us together, can never be broken.

How am I delighted when I reach home again?

Every wonderful thing is here again,

Rain has stopped falling, and looking at your picture, I whispered, “I love you.”

A Fight against Evils

Tonight, we had a fight against Yig,

This is the first time ever to fight Ancient One in Arkham Horror.

All the plans we had previously failed so badly,

And we lose all the chances to win the game.

The doom track is full and the Ancient One is released from the great pit of darkness.

This should be a moment of tension, however, because of the want of sleep,

This moment is not fully realized.

We are fight by nothing besides chance,

And we all endure until the last moment.

Looking at the doom token being taken, piece by piece, before us;

The burden of the moment disappears, load by load, our heart.

Thanks to the shotgun owned by Tau Kiat,

Without it, things can have gone crazier than ever!

Honey, this is the longest game we have ever had, more than 4 hours!

At this point, I am very sorry to you that I did not reach your house at 10 o’clock.

I am sorry that I could not reject them when I should do.

Enough chances were given to me, but still I behave so.

I am such a fool.

Sometimes I would look at the pictures we had taken together in the past,

Two lovely young couples, having everything in the world, but fear;

Hand in hand walked together through every hardship and challenge in life;

And I wondered where have we gone, or where have I gone?

I am so in pain when I see my change,

I am so in agony when I see how I hurt you again and again,

I know I am very touched by what you have done for me,

Your love to me is so great that sometimes, in retrospect, I would doubt of its ever existing.

I am struggling to keep up with you,

I want to love you as much as, or even more than you love me,

I am trying to show you this in my action.

Honey, I am doing very hard to show you how I love you,

If I do not love you, why should I waste my time doing so?

So, I love you as ever and probably, forever.

Pasta

There are many things I can do when I am in Kuantan, one of them is to cook!
Dunno when and why, I start loving to cook.
I find that it is very intereseting and fun!
As usual, this time I cook when I am in Kuantan.
I have cooked many things such as fishball, vegetables, ushroom, chicken, eggs, fishcake, sausages and etc.
But among them, pasta is the one which I can cook it really tasty!
well, you as my boyfriend, I must let you try how good is my cooking!
Therefore, I have cooked a spaghetti with sausage for you today!
When I know that you said my spaghetti is tasty and score a full marks of 100, I am so happy!
But when you said that you have to add tomato sauce on your own, I feel so sad, my cooking is still not that good for you.
But anyway, I will still cook for my family and the ones I love to show them my love towards them!
Although you said that you don't mind that your future wife doesn't know how to cook, but I still wanna learn to cook (p/s: I always think that I am your future wife)
Because I hope that my future husband (p/s: I always think that you are my future husband) and children (if I could have) can enjoyed my cooking and grow up healthily.
As my mommy's daughter, I always hope that my mommy can cook for me, so I think that my children will also love to consume my cooking.
Therefore, I am trying hard now to learn to cook and build a bright future for my family (p/s: I always think that mine is also yours)

Together, we must hold hand to build the bright future of us. (p/s: So you must learn to cook too!)
I love you!

Our Beautiful Love

Today, we slept together for the first time in this holiday.
Just like always I hug you close against my chest, within my arms.
Although I am well aware of the weakness of them,
I am still in the hope that with them, I can still offer you all the protection and secure that you wish.
Although I am self-conscious about the boniness of my chest,
I am still believing that it can offer you the warmth that a man could offer to a woman he loved.

They are but symbols of love, which in movies, are often times exaggerated to, sometimes, some unreasonable extent, creating all sort of delusional, false and absurd fantasy in the youth's head.
Whatever philosophies of love there are out there, mine is simply this: lovely is that lovely does.
It just means that, love is in the action, not in words, nor symbols.

Old days were blown by the breeze of time,
together with the passion we used to own.
Now, there is only one thing left behind.
Not responsibility, lest you should have made such painful assumption,
but the castle of love, which was built by us brick by brick whenever we held each other tightly in our hearts.

No matter how unspectacular was the commencement,
how trying the process could be,
today we have made to the top of our castle,
with the great prospect lying before us;
with the green pasture of bliss stretching beyond our sight,
with the picturesque scenery of the evening sky joining it from above,
thus is our happy land, thus is our love.

Honey, we are together now and that is all that counts.
I love you, and those are all the true words you need to comprehend.

我喜欢在关丹的生活

我喜欢早上起来的时候，爸爸载着我出去吃早餐

吃早餐的时候，我们可以聊聊天；无论聊些什么我都很快乐

我喜欢在吃完早餐以后，爸爸会带我到菜市去，我会在那里选购我要的食材

菜、肉、水果……好多好多不一样的食材

我喜欢回到家就开始收拾我的家

随便的扫扫地，家里就会变得非常干净，感觉就会非常的清新

我喜欢开着电脑，搜寻我要的食谱

认真的翻查、认真的阅读

电脑前面就是一扇窗户，凉风习习

再看看木制桌子，很享受这样的乐活

我喜欢看一下福建连续剧

虽然讨厌剧中的奸角；认为剧中善角被伟大化与天使化

但我就是喜欢这样的坐在沙发上看着，就是喜欢这样的坐在沙发上评论着

因为我的童年是这样过的

我喜欢在5点的时候到厨房去切呀、洗呀

为晚上的晚餐准备好一切

我喜欢这样如此朴实，没有压力的生活

也许我厌倦了都市的繁忙生活；也或许我根本就不适合做什么女强人

Me, You and Them

A hearty party it was,

A happy night it was.

Just like little children waiting for the distribution of sweets and candy,

We sat in a circle.

How I wished that we were always in the same team,

So that we can celebrate our victory together!

Although just once, and we did not really win the game,

I was still very happy, that I did not have to try to eliminate you from the game!

Honey, it was such a pleasure to have you joined our circle,

I hoped that you really like being with us.

But I think yesterday you must be very disappointed , sad and angry when I was late, right?

I am very very sorry, honey!

I did not want it happen, but I cannot prevent it.

I had tried my best to eat as fast as I can already,

I am sorry that my estimation is so poor,

Honey, please punish me!

I beg for your punishment!

I do not want you to forgive me, just punish me!

You can slap my buttocks, want me to kiss you like a woodpecker,

Or want me to clean your room, or want me to become your white mouse to be tested with different nail color and style also never mind!

Sorry, honey!!

Honey, I love you!

与家人的欢乐时光

真的很喜欢回到关丹的感觉

一切一切都是那么的熟悉

在关丹，有爸爸、妈妈、妹妹和婆婆

一家人能够欢欢喜喜的坐在一块儿吃饭、聊天

那种感觉真的非常好

明天是星期一，那也就意味着我还有13天能够留在关丹

我知道，13天会过得很快很快

我会在第13天依依不舍，甚至留下我的眼泪

但无论如何，我都会好好的珍惜着13天

好好地享受天伦之乐

宝贝，你也一定要好好的与你的家人享受天伦之乐哦！

读书增加知识固然重要，但与家人一块儿做活动也很好！

不要每天都躲在家里读书还是对着电脑什么的

抽一些时间出来，到店里去帮忙妈妈，趁机和她多说说话

也抽一些时间出来，到店后的厨房做做蛋糕与面包

无论是偷师也好；想与哥哥姐姐们说话也好，看到彼此，心里总是甜滋滋的

抽一些时间出来，与爸爸去吃吃早餐，虽然你们可能不聊天，不说话，但爸爸会因为你在他的旁边而感到快乐与温馨

还有，不要对弟弟那么的凶；做错什么事也不要用打的，也不要大声责骂

他的小小心灵会受到伤害；把自己放在他的立场想想，要是那么年幼的你遭到如此凶狠的对待，你是否会害怕，是否会感到恐惧？

宝贝，好好珍惜你与家人的日子

相信我，你不会后悔

我爱你

Keane's Homecoming!

Today I came back to Kuantan,
I am so happy to see the familiar places again;
and I wonder if I can see my old friends again.
Although probably not.
Anyway coming home is great!

The scenery may not be beautiful for others,
but it is the most beautiful one ever I have seen.
Because this is where I was born,
this is my town.

Today, I came back to my family,
I am so happy to see their familiar faces again;
and I wonder if how long can I be with them.
Although probably not for long.
Anyway being with them is great.

The place may not be the grandest for others.
but it is the grandest one ever I have been in.
Because this is where I used to live,
this is my home.

All the memories were so near yet so far;
All the laughter was so loud yet so faint;
where are they? where have they gone?
And now I realize that being back to my old town,
does not mean being back to my old days.
Things gone are gone,
there is only one long way ahead that is worth concern;
a road to be, my future, or our future.

Honey, I have come home.
I love you!

回到关丹

又是一个学期假期，我们再次回到我们最熟悉的地方

一个我们出生的地方

一个孕育我们长大的地方

一个我们曾经想逃离却一而再再而三想念的地方

这一个地方存有着最原始的我们

呱呱坠地的我们

一步一步学走路的我们

背着小背包上学的我们

青春期与父母顶撞的我们

荷尔蒙作祟而第一次坠入爱河的我们

我们的一生，它见证了不少，甚至是最多的

它见证我们的喜悦，为我们的成功与欢喜献上掌声

它见证我们的悲痛，为我们的伤心雨难过献上安慰

这是一个奇妙的地方

它没有最上等的料理，却有我们再也熟悉不过的味道，让我们为了那一个简单却深入我心的味道回来

它没有最舒适的床褥，却有我们睡上多年的狗窝，让我们躺着再久也不愿离开

厌倦了城市的繁荣，我现在只想回到朴实的家乡

简单而美丽的关丹

Unchangeable

I always pretend that I am fine with your friends whenever they are present in front of you.

I really cannot do any better than that.

It is a pain that can never be removed by anyone,

this is the pain that they inflicted upon,

the wound that it opened up can never be cured by any apology.

The gate of forgiveness has long closed upon them,

they will never have another chance.

I will still smile in front of them,

but do not expect me to do things with them or for them like how I would do with and do for wai kit and eugene.

I am sorry, but I cannot hold back my hatred towards them!

They helped you, but they killed me.

How can I possibly forgive them?

Maybe they did not do that intentionally,

but I never cared, things could never be changed,

their cold stares, their neglect of my presence,

you never knew how earnest Chiun Yuen was,

when he looked into my eyes and said those fucking words to me;

you never knew how threatening Han Feng was,

when he held me by my collar to negotiate with me;

Enough of these nonsensical shits!

I am not a toy for them,

dump when they feel like to.

My arrogance and pride were formed partly because of them.

I scorned them, despised them, and would, if chance offers, stamp them upon my feet.

Worthless.

朋友

今天早上，我听见你如此批评我最要好的朋友

心中难免难过，因为这么多年的相处，我知道他们并不是这样的人

还有，因为身为我的男朋友，还有未来家庭成员的你不能融入我们的生活的圈子，我也一样感到不好受

但，我并不强求，因为每一个人都有自己喜欢的，和自己厌恶的

我没有强求你一定要融入我的生活圈子，和我交一样的朋友
但，我希望你不要对他们存有太过偏激的见解

虽然有时我会不屑友劲的霸道与骄傲；也会不体谅伟杰的不醒目
但我从来都没有不把他们当成我的朋友
因为你，我爱屋及乌，我愿意与他们做朋友
愿意把周末拍拖的时间让出来，让原本的二人世界变成三人游或是四人游
我也愿意在伟杰缺钱的时候，预付他所有的开销
不仅如此，虽然我有星巴克的免费兑换礼券，我也第一时间想到你和你的朋友们，而不是我和我的朋友们
和他们一块儿出去玩，我一样乐在其中，一样快乐与兴奋

所以，宝贝，可以请你看在我以上优点的份上，不要对我的朋友存有偏见吗？
我没有要你像我一样和彼此的朋友和乐融融，只是希望你能够放下多年以来对他们的成见而已
因为在还未遇见你之前，是他们的时刻陪伴，才会有今天你遇见的我
开朗、友善、胆大的我

也因为我的开朗、友善、胆大，我们才会有机会传简讯和对方共度第一个晚餐
开始我们的爱

=）

Love Without Pain

When we were new to each other,
when we started to love each other from the depth of our soul,
we thought innocently that our love is a love without pain.
With this naive innocence,
we let go of many things we used to own,
With this irresponsible disposition,
we destroyed our cenotaph of love with our very hands.
Such was the summary of our love,
such was the cause of all the pain we bore a few weeks ago.

We made but empty promises with each,
we loved each other on the surface, but hated each other unconsciously.

Our insatiable desire was the darkness that slowly enshrouded our love,
our indifference towards our love and naive assumption that things will go the best way,
everything will be bright again when the sun of the morrow rises again, was the constructor of our doom.

Now, we understood that love without pain can never be achieved by ones as irresponsible as us.
To love forever, changes must be internalized.
Thanks to the storms that struck us fatally at our heart (for there is only one heart for us both),
thanks to the morning ray that penetrated our skins when the dark clouds faded away.

I love you.

With all my love and sincerity,
Your Beloved Keane.

树

人的一生总是有很多不同的选择

人也会因为贪念而放弃现在所拥有的而追求未来自己所不知能拥有与否的

也因为这样，人往往做出错误的选择而遗憾终生

但，无可否认，也有人因为改变初衷而飞黄腾达、一生幸福

要是那一个晚上，我没有彻底的死心，放弃那令我片体鳞伤、痛不欲生的男人

那么今天的我会是失败的、落寞的、可怜的

但也许那一个男人会因为我的死心塌地而因此被我感动，转换态度，对我疼爱有加

那么今天的我会是幸福的、满足的、快乐的

没有人知道结局会是怎样

只有亲身尝试，我们才会知道葡萄树上的葡萄是否天嫩多汁，还是酸得难以入口

那一天晚上，我彻底的死心
我抓狂、我痛哭、我嘶喊；我流着眼泪睡着了
第二天起身，望着镜子里的自己，我依旧漂亮
只是脸上干掉的泪痕增添了几分沧桑，让脸看起来花容失色，少了份17岁少女的甜美，多了份不该出现的倦意
打开花洒，冰冷的水从中洒出，让睡意立即消失，也让我的心重新开启

缘分让我遇见了你，我们开始了我们的爱
刚开始，我们是多么的恩爱、甜蜜与热情
甜蜜让我们起得比自认为起得最早的太阳早
热情让我们一步一步的踏向遥远的目的地

曾经，我们想过亲手结束我们的爱
但也是因为爱，我们还是紧握着彼此的手坚持下去

这段日子当中，同样的出现了一条两个路口的分岔路
我依旧被迫做出选择
这次，我选择了拥有你的陪伴的路，而不是少了你的陪伴的路
原因很简单，当年我的坚持原由于我的不甘心
今天我的的坚持原由于我对你的爱

我不知道结果会是如何
要是树上结的果实是酸的，那么作为这棵树的种植者，我会施肥浇水，让树上再次结的果实会是甜的
因为，这棵树是我种的，我爱它

The Happiness Within

Just now we watched the Olympic badminton competition together,

it was a really exciting game,

perhaps it would take a few decades or even centuries for such a spectacular event to happen again.

He, whom we supported, lost the game,

he was very depressed just as we were,

but certainly much much more than we felt.

At a moment I was quite disgusted with the winner,

when I saw him running around the place,

declaring his victory.

But when I started to see things from his angle,

I began to understand that there is nothing so irritating or disgusting in him,

it is just our perspective that makes us blind to the truth;

our bias that bends the fact and distorts the reality.

Honey, I wished that we could cheer together when he won,

but he lost; however, never mind, I think he did not play badminton just to win the gold medal or to get four million, I rather think he plays badminton because he likes it.

And it is so fortunate of him to find an opponent.

It is really lonely and sad to be at top of the pyramid,

where everyone below is trying to climb up and drag you down.

Honey, don't be sad, I love you.

I am so happy to watch the whole game with you.

See, our country is aspiring now,

soon, a legend will be born,

and that is when we will sit together cheer for them again!

I love you.

Love, We Build

I love you, as always. 

Today we spent our time together with two extra light bulbs. 

But never mind, I trust that we was having a great day with the two light bulbs. 

Below was our schedule for the day: 

• Fetched Wai Kit to UTAR PJ Campus
• Had our breakfast in the TG-liked "restaurant"
• Back to your house and slept
• Woke up and had our lunch a Lai Kwong
• Went back home and played Arkham Horror. (Hooray, we won the game!!)
• Cleaned your room
• Watched the replay of badminton semifinal Olympic
• Had our dinner at Taiwanese
• Had the preserved eggs
• Meeples to play Cantan and The Message: Emissary Crisis
• Back to my home (Sneak check fail. - 3 Sanity and go to Time and Space!)

Before I go in to my home, and through the way to my home, Eugene said something and reminded me about our love. 

He said," I don't trust that your love can be maintained because of the influence of Horoscope but your responsibility."

At that moment, I felt scare. As I don't hope that we was bonded by responsibility and no more love between us. 

Then I said," Hey, don't say so. It sounds that our love is meaningless"

Eugene then explained," No, your love can be maintained because you build your love, and you take your responsibility to protect it." 

Then I relieved. 

Something came in my mind.

"... Yes, we build our love. As long as we are still loving each other, we should take the responsibility to protect our love."

Hubby, I love you. I am willing to take the responsibility.

How about you? 

Just Want You Smile

Today is Eugene's birthday, and we celebrated for him,
although we did not send him any gift,
I think we did make him happy today.

Honey, just like before, we explored new things today,
dominion!
I am very happy when I see you enjoy the game.
I just feel like as day pass by,
I see you smile less and less,
as if you are not who you were before,
or I can't make you happy anymore.

Tonight, we were so lucky,
Eugene treated us something really expensive,
although the pizza is not that nice,
the sausage is really great!
Besides that, we also watched how Lee Chong Wei won his game!

Honey, you are so happy today,
until you talk about what to do tomorrow.
And those uneasy feelings come back,
I am really sad.

You always think that I am not good enough,
I am really sad.

I really do not know when can I see you smile the whole day in front of me.

I am sorry that I can't make you smile.
I love you.
Your sigh makes me feel so dismay.

Sometimes, I just wonder what am I to you.

担心

眼见电脑荧幕上显示着2时30分，便把电脑关上，到楼下去等待你的到来，准备一块儿去吃午餐

但，我等呀等，等呀等；你始终还未出现在我家门口

一通又一通的电话，我拨打着

你的声音，我听不见；只听见电讯公司小姐的声音，令人厌烦、无奈的声音：“你拨打的号码暂时无人接通，请稍后再拨。”

我不知道我拨打了多少通的电话，也不知道心失望了多少次

再看一看墙上时钟，已3时30分，你还未出现

心中不是失望，而是由失望转换成担心与焦虑

疑问浮现：到底发生了什么事？电话是打得通的，怎么却没人接？

发生意外了吗？电话不见了吗？还是为什么？

种种不如意与消极的想法统统浮现在脑海里

种种不快乐与悲观因子统统在我身体里发挥其优势，让我招架不住

无可奈何，我只好摇一通电话给你的好友

才知道，原来你只是忘了带电话

心头大石终于放下，蚂蚁终于离开了热锅

担心离开了，却换来了生气的到访

恶魔在心中怒发冲冠：“他根本不曾理会过你的感受，他在忙也好都可以向朋友接电话发个信息给你吧？”

怒气遮住了我的双眼，捂着我的耳朵；我只看见，也只听见心中恶魔所说的一切

“叮咚！叮咚！”是你，你来了

我一上到车，大声的唬吓你、责骂你，誓要把心中怒前统统给发泄出来

对不起，我真不想发你脾气，可是请你试想想我的感受，要是换做是你，你会怎么样？

亲爱的，对不起。

我爱你，所以别让我担心了。

Always the Best

Honey, do not fear that I talk to other girls,
do you still remember what I told you last time that you are the best?
You are perfect?

Now I still think the same.
You are so far the best girl I have met in my life,
although I have only lived for 19 years.
Anyway, you can see the confirmation from my family, right?
For example, my dad, who has never praised any of Ah Siang's girl friends,
always says you are a good girl and advises me to take good care of our relationship;
my brother, ah Siang, he never likes See Hui's boy friends, no matter who they are,
but he is fine with you and never complains about you!
About my mum and sister, you think about it yourself!

Honey, no matter what I do,
I always know clearly that there is someone who loves me very deeply.
And that is you, my honey.
No matter how far I go, I will come back for your love,
for our love.

I love you~

迷思

从前，你说：“我们不可能第一次就能够如此幸运的找到我们的终生伴侣。这个世界很大，我们可以遇到的人有很多，我们的选择还有很多，我们还可以找到更好的。”

现在，我问，你说：“我们回到一起到最后一天，我们死的那一天。我不会爱上别的女生或是和别的女生发生关系。”

第一个答案，让我伤心、难过、心碎

第二个答案，让我疑惑、不知去向

为什么短短几天，答案竟然可以相差这么多？

是什么让你的答案起着如此戏剧化的改变？

是你真的找到了你自己真正想要的？还是你在敷衍、应酬我？

为了逃避我不断的无理取闹？为了制止我令人厌烦的最继续说话？

亲爱的，到底是为什么？

Never Fear

Honey, no matter what happens, remember my words,
I love you.
There is no reason for me to lie,
there is nothing that I can take from you if I lie to you,
If today you could no longer have sex with me,
I would still be with you and make you happy.
You are much much more than a sex partner to me,
I would go as far to say that you are my partner in almost everything.

I do not need to ask you whether you love me or not,
I know the answer from your action.
I do not need to ask for your permission to make you happy,
I get it from your smile.

When have we become so cowardice? Remember how we used to think?
Not until the end, we should never let go of our hands.

Honey, I love you.

失踪的安全感

不知道什么时候开始，你给了我一种很强的安全感
它告诉我：“俊龙真的很爱你，你们会一直到永远，没有事情将让你们的感情冷漠。”
我一直坚信着安全感给我的感觉，我一直抱着骄傲的态度，继续的自以为是

不知道什么开始，安全感失踪了；没有预感、没有预告、甚至没有任何的征兆
它似乎在某一角落叮嘱这我：“俊龙会随时离你而去，你们的感情就会好像写在黑板上的粉笔字一样，抹一抹，什么都会化为乌有。”
我开始焦虑、心急；我甚至霸道、野蛮起来。
我不知道要如何让我焦虑的心安定下来；我不知道要怎么做才能够让安全感回到我的身边
所有的焦虑与疑惑与不信任泉涌而来，它们埋没了我的理性。
理性在中挣扎求存，但它始终抵不过黑暗的势力
黑暗让我莫名其妙的发脾气，甚至开始讨厌你的一切
心里的矛盾重重叠叠
我爱你，可是我无法控制自己不给你臭脸色看，我无法制止自己不胡乱发脾气
我爱你，可是我不能够伟大的去接受你的全部，我还是一样的自私
我爱你，可是我所做的一切与我心中所想恰恰相反
我后悔、我懊恼、我自责、我哭泣
我一直尝试将脾气收敛，但我就是做不到

安全感之墙终于瓦碎，信任之堤也终于绝崩

为了让爱重生，我一直、不断的告诉自己：“俊龙很爱我”
但不悦耳的句子，就像小学生下课在食堂并排着队买食物一样，一句一句的走进我的耳里
不理智的思绪开始做出一些不适当的处理
错误的信息让心情开始浮躁起来

你说：“要是你不能接受我的想法，你能离开我。”
我想：“要是你真的爱我，为什么要放弃我？”

你说：“和你在一起的时候，我喜欢过很多人。”
我想：“……” 头脑暂停操作，因为所有的脑细胞已被伤心的荷尔蒙给喝令停止

为什么你说爱我，但另一边却做着令我难过的事情。

安全感失踪了，我也失踪了。

Stay the Same

Things have never changed, I am still who I was and you are still who you were.
You are always my honey, and I always love you.
Whatever I do, I never decrease my love to you,
I still care for you as much as I did in the past,
although sometimes I hurt you intentionally,
I still try my best to protect you, my love.

If you really do choose to go away, there will be a hole in my heart that can never be cured;
I may break down like Eugene did and sometimes still does,
I never want you to go away from me, I just want you to be happy.

You are always a precious girl in my heart,
I am happy to be with you,
we face challenges together and solve problems together,
we fail together, we lose together,
but they do not matter,
as long as we are together, that is all that matters.

I love you, I hope we still can hold together and confront the unknowns that may come.
I love you, I hope you understand how much I appreciate you.

I love you, I love you, I love you, Beatrice Low Qiao Yan

对不起

我知道被爱伤过的心，那伤口，不可能完全愈合
我也知道，一时之间，我们做不了些什么来不就我们爱之间的裂缝
很抱歉，我之前对你的无理取闹、冷言冷语、鄙视眼神
也很抱歉，是我没有努力的、好好地维持我们的爱，让我们的爱如沙堡般，慢慢的被海水冲击而变得根基不稳，面临倒塌
真的很抱歉，是我不懂得作为一个好的女朋友，让你一次有、与一次的失望与落寞

除了对不起，我还想说我爱你
要是你还是一样的爱着我的话，那么我希望你和我一起努力地保护我们的爱
我真的爱你

Turning to return

We have gone very far in this one and half years,
more than we had expected.
At the same time, the distance between us had grown so much.
Our love had changed; we started to hate each other,
sometimes we would argue until both of us could not make a sound and were so embarrassed.
I am so sorry that, I always ignore problems between us,
I am so sorry that I care so much about my pride, that i always hurt you, and want to win over even some subtle things.

I wish this new beginning can last and we will be together like we were before!
I love you, honey,
this time I will never give any excuse to stop blogging anymore!
Let's us hold hand together and build our happy land again1

新的开始

刚刚看回我们以前一同努力维持的部落格，眼眶不禁湿润。 一是因为心中泛起种种我们以往的甜蜜；一是后悔自己的不努力让我们的爱如杂草丛生般慢慢一步一步的侵蚀我们。 也许这份爱得来实在太容易了，让我们不懂得珍惜的重要。 我们的爱情不像罗密欧与朱丽叶一般，轰轰烈烈；也不像梁山伯与祝英台一样，惊天动地，我们的一切都来得非常的容易。 

简简单单的度过了一年6个月，问题一样一样的浮现于台面
我们的固执总是让彼此争执不下
我们的好胜总是让对方在自己的恶言相向下受伤
 我们自认自己是深爱着对方的，却又一次次的伤及对方而不知补救
 一道又一道的伤痕，带来了一条又一条的伤疤
一次又一次的忍让，带来了一回又一回的憋忍
受伤的心再也经不起风吹，我们的爱再也经不起雨打
今天，一个简单的句子带来了一场雷电交加的风暴
一通电话，带来一句又一句的发泄与倾诉
眼泪、哽咽；沉静、心灰 

我不知道这个时候的我能够做些什么
但我知道，如我刚才在电话里所说的一样：要是有任何的方法能够保护我们，我将屈服于那方法之下
屈服并不是委屈、认输、勉强，而是我对我们的爱的一种付出

 我爱你，我爱我们
重生。