Unchangeable

I always pretend that I am fine with your friends whenever they are present in front of you.

I really cannot do any better than that.

It is a pain that can never be removed by anyone,

this is the pain that they inflicted upon,

the wound that it opened up can never be cured by any apology.

The gate of forgiveness has long closed upon them,

they will never have another chance.

I will still smile in front of them,

but do not expect me to do things with them or for them like how I would do with and do for wai kit and eugene.

I am sorry, but I cannot hold back my hatred towards them!

They helped you, but they killed me.

How can I possibly forgive them?

Maybe they did not do that intentionally,

but I never cared, things could never be changed,

their cold stares, their neglect of my presence,

you never knew how earnest Chiun Yuen was,

when he looked into my eyes and said those fucking words to me;

you never knew how threatening Han Feng was,

when he held me by my collar to negotiate with me;

Enough of these nonsensical shits!

I am not a toy for them,

dump when they feel like to.

My arrogance and pride were formed partly because of them.

I scorned them, despised them, and would, if chance offers, stamp them upon my feet.

Worthless.